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Wedding Planning – People Will Be Mean to You August 1, 2015

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Jobs and Work, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World, Wedding.

Every movie you see, every reality show you watch, and everything everyone tells you makes you feel like once you’re a bride the world is all pink and fluffy and you have this impenetrable glow around you. The wedding industry is all about happiness, how can you not feel warm and cozy inside when you work with brides and grooms and you’re basically making their dreams come true? How can someone not be happy when they get to do that everyday? Well, the wedding industry gets the Oscar for best deception. I’m going to break it to you, and I’m going to break it to you hard; When you are getting married – people will be mean to you.

The Industry – Keep in mind that wedding venues, wedding cakes, wedding dresses, they are all part of an industry just like anything else. There are friendly accountants and there are rude accountants; you’ve meet really nice servers and really nasty servers; some doctors care about you and your feelings, some just care about getting you in and out the door. We have this perception that the wedding industry is somehow exempt from this kind of seesaw, but it’s a business like all other businesses. Not everyone who has a job loves it, and I know what you’re thinking, “how can you be miserable and you’re coordinating a freakin’ wedding!?”, but people are. They’re human. Most people will great you with smiles, handshakes and congratulations, but there are those who just want you to see the space, try the cake, have the meeting and then be on your way. Not everyone watches Four Weddings religiously, like you do.

Screen shot 2014-02-11 at 11.27.05 AMThe Pressure – People who are in the wedding industry deal with a lot. At any given point they are receiving multiple emails from multiple brides, phone calls and a thousand requests. They are only one person so they can only handle one thing at a time. A lot of these people just fold under the stress, so while they aren’t trying to be mean to you, personally, they’re probably just being mean to everyone that day. People who have been doing this a long time may also feel like they know better than you. When planning a wedding, it’s important you work with people who advise and guide but also hear your vision, and not try to force their opinions on you. We recently met a venue coordinator who was adamant that we get married in November, because it would be cooler out. We politely told her we had no desire or intention of getting married in November, and then reiterated our desired date. For the next twenty minutes we heard about how November would be a better choice (sorry, not everyone has hot flashes like you do, lady). When you do this day in and day out, it’s normal to have opinions, but people often forget that unsolicited advice can hurt your business, rather than help it and they end up just coming off pushy and mean.

The People – People suck. In general. You may wonder why certain individuals have certain jobs, think about the last time you had a grumpy hostess, or met a teacher who clearly didn’t tolerate children well, or even that time you called customer support because your internet went out and the guy on the other end seemed like he’d rather be eating dirty rather than helping you. People have jobs they don’t like all the time, and some people do like they’re jobs, they just don’t show it, they’re just not warm and fuzzy, people-persons. It does seem odd that someone who deals with people, brides, on a daily basis would be so annoyed with their job, but just like any other profession out there, it does happen.

You – Sometimes, people are going to be rude, because of you. No, you may not be a bridezilla, but maybe they feel like you’re making a decision that’s very out of the ordinary and could possibly hurt your wedding instead of making it amazing. Perhaps, what you’re asking of them isn’t possible, and instead of being flexible you’re being difficult. Humans can only be flowery and nice for so long before they, too, get annoyed. Sometimes, people are mean because of something you did, rather than some way you’re acting. We had been trying to get in contact with a venue event coordinator for a couple of weeks, we couldn’t reach her and hadn’t heard back, so we went to see the venue anyway. While there, we ran into an employee who asked us if he could direct us somewhere, so we explained our situation. He promptly found the contact we had been trying to reach and ushered us into her room. Unfortunately, for us, she was in the middle of a meeting and just as promptly as we were brought in, we were escorted out and told to sit in a chair and wait. The other couple in the meeting felt so uncomfortable they actually stepped out and congratulated us – it was a weird situation all around. This woman is obviously just poor at time management, it shouldn’t take two weeks to call someone back, and it should take more than five minutes to show someone a venue, but people have natural reactions to events that happen. To her, we were intruders, even though her co-worker was the one who made the mistake. Give people the benefit of the doubt every now and then.

Long story short – remember that weddings are, at the end of the day, a business too. Sure, they might be one of the more fun, interesting professions out there, but not everyone feels that way. Some people are tired, they’re old, they’re worn out, and some people just happen to have a bad attitude no matter what they do. The best advice is to be you, stick up for yourself but also don’t let other people ruin your experience. Aren’t you the happiest you’ve ever been? Good! Channel that often and always and any mean, inconsiderate, vendors will just roll off you like little beads of rain!



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