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What is that Twenty-Somethings Really Want?! May 22, 2015

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Apartment Life, Dating, Family, Finances, Friendships, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World, Relationships, Traveling.
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This article really resonated with me, and everything I have felt at one point or another. Take a read, and remember that you’re not the only one out there who wants the simply things – like a couch that’s not from Ikea (that you probably failed to put together…twice). 

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Work has been crazy over in DLIH land! But I promise, new posts, insightful articles, and more randomness coming very, very soon!!!

Stop Thinking Like a 30-Something, Start Thinking For Yourself! May 4, 2015

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Apartment Life, children, Dating, Education, Family, Following Your Dreams, Friendships, Jobs and Work, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Relationships.
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If you have’t noticed yet, I re-post a lot of Elite Daily articles. It’s a site I really admire because they have a lot of great things to say, especially to twenty-somethings. Most recently, I found this article on how those in their 20’s need to stop thinking like those in their 30’s. While I was reading it, I found myself disagreeing with many of the points that were made. I like reading different people’s views or opinions on life, most of all, how their experiences have shaped them, and I do think that there are always beneficial moments to take from everything you read. However, when we are encouraging or supporting those who are coming up after us, I think it’s very important to reinforce positive information for all types of people and all sorts of girls. We come from different backgrounds, upbringings and cultures, so there cannot be an end all be all of how to live your life, or grown-up or shape your future. So, here is my own version of Why 20-Something Women Need To Stop Thinking Like 30-Something Women (but instead, think for themselves!) –

We have all totally been “that girl”. That girl who had two too many glasses of Pinot and starts off on her pity party about never falling in love, having a baby too late in life, never making it in her career, “I just don’t get what’s wrong with me! How is Lindsay Lohan, who’s a total mess, famous and buying houses and cars while I’m an educated, smart, caring girl and I can’t even get a full-time job, or a boyfriend, or a nice apartment?!” I know I’ve been that girl. (more…)

Household Tricks You’ll Use For the Rest of Your Life! April 29, 2015

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in 21st Century/Technology, Apartment Life, Fashion/Clothes, Health and Fitness, How To, Tips and Tricks.
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Rather recently, DLIH stumbled upon a phenomenal article at Funcage.com – 18 Useful Household Tips and Tricks. Like with all things, DLIH happily accepted the challenge! We are happy to report that the tips and tricks we chose, not only, blew our minds, but changed our lives forever. Here are the DLIH TESTED, DLIH APPROVED household, life-changing, tricks! Try all 18 for more fun and mind blowingness!

In order of AWESOMENESS!

1.

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 How has no one else ever thought of this?! It’s perfect for in the office, at the gym, or especially if you work from home and always forget to stay hydrated!

2.

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So logical! Most of all, you save the earth – no more toilet paper roll trash! I have also seen toilet paper roll tubes used to organize your dresser drawer (ladies). Roll your stockings or tights and then stick them in the tube, opening facing up, just like the box above. Then, when you are getting dressed you can easily see all your colors and it will keep them safe and snag free.

3.

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I did not think this would work. It totally worked! Of course, don’t turn the thing up full blast and leave the room, but for normal boiling (pasta, rice, potatoes) it works wonders! Wooden spoon salute!

4.

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So many hands, fingers, ponytails saved! (more…)

How to Be a Morning Person February 10, 2015

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in 21st Century/Technology, Apartment Life, Health and Fitness, How To, Life Lessons/Growing Up.
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“For many of us, mornings begin in a rushed panic. We allow our alarm clocks to buzz at least a dozen times before we decide we have to get out of bed. We then rush around our homes half-awake trying to get ready for our day. In a hurry, we stub our toe on the bedpost, forget to put on deodorant, and don’t pack a lunch because we simply do not have time.

It’s no wonder that so many folks despise the thought of being awake before 9 am!”

Forgetting deodorant? Check! Not packing lunch? Also check! Stubbing toe? Been there! Learn how to be a morning person, or at least a little bit happier in the AM! Read this awesome and uplifting article at MindBodyGreen!

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Making Life Choices…and Facing Hilarious Realities January 8, 2015

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in 21st Century/Technology, Apartment Life, Cooking, Dating, Education, Fashion/Clothes, Finances, Friendships, Health and Fitness, Humor, Jobs and Work, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Men, Real World, Relationships, Shopping, Tattoos/Piercings, Traveling, Women.
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Check out this great post about the Catch-22’s of being in your twenties! Grab a glass of wine, and laugh your bad day away – The 20 Catch-22s Of Being In Your 20’s, by Lauren Martin at the Elite Daily.

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Things New Yorkers Dream Of August 9, 2014

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Apartment Life, Around Chicago, Around NYC, Following Your Dreams, Humor, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Moving, Shopping.
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You may have noticed it’s been a little while since anything new has surfaced at DLIH; if you’ve been reading for a while, you’ll also remember that almost this time last year DLIH made it’s long and exciting move from the bustling city of New York to Chicago. When you get older, your desires for how you want to exist change, you make choices about where you want to live and how you want to structure your life. Your age changes, and so does your quality of life. Chicago was a quality of life move, and while New York is still the most bad-ass, capital of the entire universe, moving can give the opportunities that are sometimes impossible elsewhere. So, if you’re wondering why DLIH has been a little more silent than usual…well, you could say that SK has been spending a little bit of time enjoying the things she always dreamed of.
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Running through your apartment…and not hitting any walls. Moving is relentless, it always finds a way to go wrong, or take forever, or cost you your soul. Living in New York, there are generally three main things you need to take into account; distance to public transportation, rent, and how shady the neighborhood might be. Size, really isn’t an objective since size and rent are proportionate to one another. You get what you get, and you don’t get upset, and you hang lots of shelves and make lots of storage units to house all the things you just don’t have room for. Until you get a place that lets you chase your cat all over the place without hitting a wall, or tripping over a shoe, and has a kitchen you can actually cook Thanksgiving in, and not just try to.

Trying to figure out what to do with you empty closest, and by closets, we don’t mean spare bedrooms. Actual closets. That are empty. And you actually don’t have stuff to put in them. And you wonder what you would possibly even buy to put in them. Staying with that theme – kitchen cupboards that needs more of the “cup” part and less of the “board”.

Doing your own laundry, in your own washer and dryer, in your own apartment, and it’s free. You don’t need to climb flights of stairs, you don’t need to run back to make sure no one steals your unmentionables, you don’t need to go to the nearest convenience store to get change for a dollar and you don’t need to lug it all back home. It’s just there! You can wash one thing, you can wash fifty!

grocery530Driving in a car you own! For people who are not from New York, let me educate you, many teenagers who are raised in Manhattan don’t learn to drive, and those who do, rarely actually exercise that talent. You don’t need to because public transit will get you anywhere, and with the traffic and aggressiveness of driving, you don’t really want to. Second point, owning a car in the city is dirty expensive – between parking, the nicks and dings, and I would assume city taxes alone, it’s not at all profitable – plus gas, not just paying for it, but having to find it. Let me tell you – the first time you drive your own car, to the grocery store, and get everything you need, and put it in the trunk, and then simply carry it back to your fridge, your head will explode with joy. [insert head exploding sound here]

So, it’s been an amazing couple of weeks outside of the DLIH world, but fear not loyal readers – we’re still here, with just a little more space to work with 🙂

 

The Sides of Needing Space June 23, 2014

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Apartment Life, Dating, Family, GoodGuys File, Health and Fitness, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Men, Real World, Relationships, Women.
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The GoodGuys File

There are two types of people out there, those who need space and those who do not. Most people like to think they’re one kind, but are probably the other. So, what happens when you’re in a relationship and spending the majority, if not almost all, your time with the same person? What happens you ask? Fights, tension, lashing out or snapping for no good reason. Human beings weren’t meant to be alone, but they weren’t meant to be together 24/7 either. Finding the balance in a relationship is a fine line, but it isn’t an invisible one.

There are two sides to “I need space” and the only way to make it work, is to understand where the other person is coming from. For people who really do need space, it’s about feeling suffocated. People don’t necessarily want to be without you, they also don’t necessarily want to be alone, they just want some air. Like when you’re stuck in a crowded subway car, or a stuffy office building, you just want to get outside – it’s not that you don’t like where you are, or who you’re with, you just need some air. Space allows people to refocus on their relationship, or other things. For many people, they love their significant other so much, it can difficult to really get other things done while they’re together. They make excuses or procrastinate doing things because it’s easy to just hang out or go out when you’re with the person you like. Alone time lets them work on the other elements on their life like work, career, finances, family and friendships. Sometimes, space doesn’t even mean being alone, it means being apart. Visiting family for a week, going out with friends, or even going to work or out after work can be space. It’s a new setting, a new set of people, and if anything, it generally makes them miss being with you more.

Some people simply don’t need as much space as others, probably because they aren’t used to it. Maybe they are an only child, or have felt a lot of separation in their life. To them, needing space is a synonym for all sorts of things – it means not wanting to be with the other person, it means leaving, it brings up the anxiety of being alone, which for many people can be difficult. For people who aren’t used to being alone, or don’t have a need for it, hearing “I need space” is instantaneously negative. It makes them feel like they’ve done something wrong and they’re being punished, it creates a sense of insecurity and even fear. However, some people, they just don’t need space. They are people persons, they like being social, they like chatting and telling stories and laughing and being around people. Not to say that people who need space aren’t like this, but for some people, life is just boring without others.

So, what’s the right way to go about making it work? First rule of thumb; don’t deny people who need space. Telling someone you don’t want them to have time alone is the fastest way to start the beginning of the end. People don’t like being denied something that’s rightful theres, people also don’t like being bossed around. There are going to be moments, maybe fights, where space is the last thing you want but you’re going to have to let them have it because they need it, and your relationship needs it. Second rule of thumb; understanding people who don’t need space. Whether they have an emotional reaction to the word “space”, not like being alone, or simply want you to stop leaving every single time you need to take a breath, listen to them. See where they’re coming from and work to control how often you might need space. Walking away isn’t always the answer, sometimes things need to be handled together.
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Turning Pretend into Reality June 11, 2014

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Apartment Life, Dating, Family, Finances, Friendships, Jobs and Work, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World, Relationships.
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Many of us are very hard on ourselves. If we’ve felt like we’ve battled life alone –  we are constantly trying to find the next level of achievement. If we came from wealth, or help, or a life that was created to be easy – we want to prove everyone wrong. If you’ve always been a winner – failure is the ultimate defeat. If you’ve rarely been a winner – then winning is the only thing you strive for. Most of us fall into one of these categories, if not a couple, so with people like us, we’re always searching for the next thing, reaching for the next level, wanting to prove to the world that we made it!

When I was a little girl, I played house where I had “children”, and I washed “dishes”, and life was perfect. When I got older, my cousins and I would pretend we had fabulous clothes, and fabulous cars and handsome boyfriends like the ones from the Barbie Queen of the Prom Game, and we’d drive to the mall to get our nails done. When I was a teenager, I dreamed about my loft apartment in NYC, my amazing career, and my cool friends who I’d meet a fancy lounges and cute bistros. Even after that, I thought about meeting the man of my dreams, living with my boyfriend, going on vacation together and getting engaged. These are all just dreams, they aren’t real, but within them is an element of very, very honest truth.

inspirational-quotes-3I always felt like once I’d get five steps ahead, I’d fall back down a mile. No matter how far I got in life, something, somewhere, would take a turn and we’d be starting from scratch. If my apartment was amazing, my friendships were in shambles; if I was dating a great guy, work was bumming me out; if I found the greatest opportunity, it didn’t pay enough to justify taking it. Never seemed like I was getting where I wanted to be, but then I’d look back and realize I had come leaps and bounds, and I had much to be proud of.

The other day, I was really beating myself up. Feeling like I wasn’t any closure to my dreams in life and then, something very unique and reflective occurred to me. Ambitious people always feel like they’re reaching, because they always have something to reach for. Each step you take in life brings you closer to a goal, a dream becoming a reality. Four years ago I couldn’t fathom buying a car, realistically or financially and now, I’m probably less than a year away from owning one. It’s a strange thing to strive for, but a huge milestone in life, buying your first car by yourself. I used to go to my friend’s apartments and look around and think “Compared to this, my place is a sardine can from the 70’s. I want an apartment to look like this, feel like a home, and be decorated like a magazine”. Today, I have a beautiful apartment, that’s decorated like a magazine. I always wanted to give to my parents, to have a nice place for them to stay when they come visit, to buy them nice things, and treat them to trips or dinners. I may not be 100% there, but it’s on the horizon. However, when I was twenty, all I dreamed about was having a good job, a good man, and enough money that I could afford to shop at Ann Taylor and Banana Republic almost exclusively. This is my reality, I can buy $40 capris and not feel it too much. So, the thing about dreams is that they change, so even if it feels like you’re always going backwards, you’re actually climbing up a ladder. If you can’t see the top, maybe you should look down, to see how far you’ve come.

Think back to your life five years ago, and how drastically different it was. Imagine yourself five years into the future, how accomplished you will be. Ambition and goals are probably one of the most valuable parts of a personality, but pride is too. It’s okay to pat yourself on the back, it’s okay to spend one second not tearing yourself down. Most of all, it’s okay to feel like you’ve succeed. Truthfully, none of us will ever be fully successful; our job as a partner will never end, our responsibility to pets and children will always exist, our continuos strive to be a better person is ongoing, there is no utopia of perfect that we’re trying to reach, but maybe if there was, success wouldn’t be fun. Knowing that the adventure lies ahead is what creates dreams into your reality.

 

The Age of Growing Up May 18, 2014

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Apartment Life, Dating, Jobs and Work, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World, Relationships, Uncategorized.
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I was probably the only kid out there who never wanted to be eighteen. Eighteen symbolizes adulthood, independence, opportunity, recognition, but I never once felt a single one of those things. From the moment I turned eighteen, I was waiting to become nineteen. Whether you consider it a stigma or a right of passage, eighteen came with more baggage than I had ever wanted. I just wanted to be seen as a person, not an eighteen year old, but I felt like that was the label, stuck to the front of my forehead. That same thing happened at twenty-one. I hated being asked my age, whenever I said it, it came out in a slow and painful, apologetic moan. After twenty-one was no better, every time I got the same comment “Oh! you’re still so young!” (I even wrote about it!). Finally, I remember when I turned twenty-five, relief spilled over me. I was no longer “so young!” or “Finally, old enough”, I was that ambiguous age where people didn’t really care how old or young you were. It was bliss. I’ve continued to live with this “flying under the radar” age and I’ve been loving every minute of it, until recently.

baggagecheckoct9It seems like, for many of us, there’s no catching up with your age. There’s always an association with where you should be, or how you should be, and for the most part, the social “norms” don’t bother me, but the warranting respect part does. After you reach a certain age, you can’t comment on certain subjects because you aren’t knowledgeable enough, but you’re expected to have an opinion anyway. So, you’re old enough to warrant an opinion, but not one that really carries weight in the conversation. Example, I may not know how to start my own business, I may not be able to comment on running a company, but because I have a college degree and have been a manager, I can be involved in the conversation, I can voice my thoughts, but no one really takes them seriously, even if they ask for them. I’m in no rush to get married, but somehow living with my boyfriend is no longer an acceptable long-term relationship; I’m not married, so I might as well be single. I don’t own a home or a car, so I’m a “cute” driver, rather than a good one; it’s “sweet” that I still rent. People have begun to make me feel like I’m still in college and my views on life are very endearing rather than true. Even when at dinner with other couples, who are married, sometimes they just smile and laugh at my home-life stories, instead of relating. It leaves me looking both ways, whipping my head around, wondering if I’ve missed something.

Sure, it’s frustrating, feeling like you’re finally a decent part of society and then two years later feeling like you’re a kid again. To be perfectly honest, I don’t know if that’s ever going to go away. Maybe when I finally get married, I’ll have a newlywed stigma around me, maybe when I finally buy a house, I’ll always be an inexperienced homeowner, maybe once my kids start elementary school it’ll be “oh, wait till they get to Junior High!” Who knows! So, I’m trying to ignore how other people sometimes make me feel and, instead, be excited about my life. So what if I’m not married yet, I’m actually pretty proud of myself for taking my time and not rushing into it. Who cares that I don’t have a car of my own yet, I’m saving so much money a month by not owning one! Sure, there are things that warrant insecurity, like living in your parents basement at 29, but I know I’m right where I’m supposed to be in life. Making it work, one high heeled step at a time!

A Guide to Living with Humans November 4, 2013

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Apartment Life, Dating, Family, Friendships, How To, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Relationships, Tips and Tricks.
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Whether it’s living with your best friend, your boyfriend, or someone you just met, living with humans is no easy feat. For the last ten years I’ve lived with 10+ people, different friendships, families, and roommate situations and the entire time, I always felt like I was missing something valuable. It wasn’t until I started living with my boyfriend that things finally felt right and I could look back and analyze all the mistakes I had made when it came to living with others. I could also understand their mistakes and how they contributed to our living togetherness ending, and possibly even our friendships ending.

A couple of days ago a close friend called me, near tears, and told be about her recent experience of living with another human. In light of this event, and my own experiences, I felt it was time for DLIH to expose the truths of what living with others means. She has allowed me to share her story, knowing that she’s not the only one out there who’s gone through this.moving-in-with-roommates

My friend moved in with her best bud about seven months ago. They had been very close in college and rekindled their friendship when she moved back to the city last year. They were thrilled to be living together. When she first moved in, they laid some groundwork that would prevent any friendship-breakups or arguments. Some of the things they discussed included that each person would pitch-in with cleaning and buying cleaning supplies, dates or boyfriends were allowed over but not for long stints, if someone was unhappy with how something was in the shared spaces they would have to sit down and discuss it before changing everything. You know, the basic stuff all roommates discuss. Well, for the first couple of months it was fine, however, slowly dishes seemed to take up the sink 24/7, her roommate’s boyfriend seemed to have become a third roommate, minus the rent part, and one day she came home to find the entire living room redecorated with all of her belongings, that previously lived in the common space, lying on her bedroom floor. When my friend addressed the various issues, her roommate would either apologize by take no action, or get very defensive finding excuses such as “well you were at work, I couldn’t ask you” or “my boyfriend is in a fight with his brother, so he needs to crash here”. Long story short their friendship ended and eventually my friend found a new place and moved out two weeks ago, they haven’t spoken since.

roomatesThe reason we shared this scenario isn’t because it’s unusual, it’s because it’s the most common experience amount people who live together. Maybe it’s not your roommate, perhaps it’s your mother who has spent three weeks too many crashing with you while “looking for her new place”; maybe you and your partner just moved in and you’re realizing that you can’t live together, what does that mean for your future? Living with a human is just that: living with a human. Humans are selfish, arrogant, rude and dirty…or they are OCD about cleaning, always perky, want to help out with everything and ask you constantly how you are. Either way, you’re never going to have the perfect person to live with, even when you’re married with babies! So here are the things you can do to learn to make living with humans a little bit easier.

  • Make your space your own. shared spaces can be tough. I’ve had multiple roommates that wanted things the way they wanted them and didn’t care about my input. So my bedroom was my space, it was exactly how I liked it and my sanctuary when I needed space.
  • Don’t be a hypocrite. If there is something they do that bothers you, make sure you’re not doing it too. If your human friend never cleans the stove, make sure you do when it gets dirty. This way, if you need to address it, they can’t say the mess is yours.
  • Establish a verbal contract. Where does mail go? Where can you find the spare set of keys? Who is in charge of bills and when are they paid? This will reduce the amount of monthly or weekly tension. It also creates a common ground, if you come home and there are envelopes sprawled across your bed you can say “Hey, roomie, didn’t we agree the mail goes in the kitchen?”
  • Don’t be defensive, but don’t be combative. Sometimes people will accuse you of things you didn’t do. “You left the TV on all night”. Instead of making a point to fight, just say “Oh…I wasn’t home, so that’s strange, maybe our TV is possessed! Either way, I’ll make a point to always make sure I turn it off”. Likewise, when you need to address something, don’t come off judgmental “Those dishes have been in the sink for weeks!”, try “Hey, I’m planning on cooking a big meal tonight and will need the sink, would you mind just washing those dishes really quick?”. Now see – “don’t be a hypocrite”.
  • Learn how to let things roll off your back. No matter how many times you ask, beg, or talk about things that need to change, sometimes they won’t. Unless these things are bringing rats into your apartment or creating fires, learn to just accept that this human you live with is flawed (as are you!) and count backwards from ten when they’ve left toothpaste all over the sink again. You won’t have to live with them forever.