jump to navigation

How to Be a Bride (Non-Psycho Version) September 24, 2015

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in How To, marriage, Men, Relationships, Wedding, Women.
2 comments

They say when you are about to die your life flashes before your eyes (sorry, morbid, keep reading!). Well, I would say when you get engaged your life sort of flashes before your eyes too. You see that little girl, with a ring pop; you see you and you friends talking about what kind of dress you want to have; you remember every wedding you ever went to and how you teared up during the vows; you think about the yet to be determined future and how amazing it will be!

high-society-bride-cartoonThere is a stigma about brides and that they are crazy, and some of them do! In interviewing vendors I’ve heard some horror stories; girls who want a sunset kiss photo but also want the photographer to get their portraits in front of a statue on the other side of town. Brides who changed their seating chart the day before and didn’t tell anyone. Couples who wanted fourteen bridesmaids and groomsmen to walk down the aisle, but only wanted to spend twenty-minutes at their ceremony. Some girls think their wedding is a challenge to make the impossible happen. Luckily, most of us are not like that, but what we want our friends and family to know is that WE ARE STILL F!%@ EXCITED, so leave us alone!

Yes, I know my wedding is a year away but what many people forget is that, for a girl, this is something that has been decades in the making, so something as little as a year is practically tomorrow in a girl’s mind. When you’re graduating college, you don’t want to think about it because every little step along the way gives you anxiety, but when you’re a bride every little thing you do along the way is like a tiny party that happens in your brain, confetti literally goes off every single time. It makes you excited, and you want to think about it, talk about it, share it with someone. In fact, some days it’s all you can think about, and you don’t mind at all. Sometimes, this can cause problems with people – like, sort of for example, your groom.

People who aren’t in your brainwave see things differently. To them, there is a calendar year and there is a list of things to do, plain and simple. To you, there is glitter falling from the sky everywhere you walk and with each step a flower blooms, with each vendor you hire a puppy with a bow runs through a field, as each month goes by you feel like your hair gets shinier, your eyes become sparkly-er, and your diamond ring gets bigger. When other people don’t see what you see, it can be hurtful, because to you it seems like they don’t think this is important, they don’t understand that it’s your moment. To you the world is exploding with lace, to them, it’s just another thing they have to do in a long list of to-do’s they already have outside of this wedding.

I’ve only been engaged for just short of three months, but I’ve already battled this. So, here’s my take on how to navigate reality while still letting a rainbow follow you around:

Step one, communication – and this is nothing new. If you’re getting married you’ve done this before, and you’re going to do it again, and again, and again, and again. There is nothing wrong with explaining to your friends, or your groom, how you feel and why their reactions seem hurtful, even though you know they’re not trying to make you feel bad.

Step two, realize that you are the only one in your champagne bubble, and that’s okay. I, of all people, understand wanting to talk about every tiny, little, minute detail, (I have already planned out the order of my processional, and drew a diagram, because I could.), just keep in mind that other people might not be there yet, so make it brief and don’t get too offended when they aren’t jumping for joy.

Step three, just do it! Don’t go Bridezilla crazy, but if no one wants be all doilies and peonies with you, then who cares, do it yourself. Imagine it’s like having a glass of wine, you don’t necessarily need someone else to do it with, it’s just a nice addition. Pinterest the hell out of your wedding! You’re only going to get to do this once, so do it your way – without alienating your entire guest list.

Finding Your [Original] Zen August 18, 2015

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Cleanse Mind Body Spirit, Cooking, Health and Fitness, How To, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Tips and Tricks.
add a comment

We’ve all heard about finding our zen; mediation, yoga, running along the lake front. For many people “vegging” out, or finding their center means working out, dancing, going to a Bikram class or taking a singing lesson. For others, going to church or another religious institution, therapy or sitting alone and drinking tea while reading works. All these conventional methods allow an individual to take time out of their day for their mental, emotional and spiritual health. Something different works for everyone but there are so many of us out there who are still trying to find their zen activity. Running is great, but maybe it’s more work than relaxing. Some people get intimidated in a Pilates class or at the gym. Spirituality is individual, but for many, going to a church or temple isn’t something that gives them inner peace. Sitting still is also very hard, and while it’s important and healthy to just be, it isn’t something that often comes easily. Finding your zen means finding something you enjoy that also relaxes you and gratifies your soul – meaning, sitting on the couch watching TV is out, no matter how much you are trying to convince me that it “makes you emotionally healthier.”

vintage-beauty-vanityThink about something you can do, a singular activity, that you can do without the need of other things. In example, maybe you love knitting, but you find that after ten minutes you get bored if you’re not watching a movie or TV re-runs. Find something that fulfills you on its own. Many people find cooking as a place of peace – it’s mentally interactive, focuses your attention on one thing, and it can be very cathartic. Most importantly, at the end of the process you are left with something beautiful, delicious and made from scratch! A zenful activity is one that satisfies, whether this means you have a finished end product or just a sense of accomplishment. (more…)

Household Tricks You’ll Use For the Rest of Your Life! April 29, 2015

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in 21st Century/Technology, Apartment Life, Fashion/Clothes, Health and Fitness, How To, Tips and Tricks.
add a comment

Rather recently, DLIH stumbled upon a phenomenal article at Funcage.com – 18 Useful Household Tips and Tricks. Like with all things, DLIH happily accepted the challenge! We are happy to report that the tips and tricks we chose, not only, blew our minds, but changed our lives forever. Here are the DLIH TESTED, DLIH APPROVED household, life-changing, tricks! Try all 18 for more fun and mind blowingness!

In order of AWESOMENESS!

1.

Screen Shot 2015-03-06 at 5.40.59 PM

 How has no one else ever thought of this?! It’s perfect for in the office, at the gym, or especially if you work from home and always forget to stay hydrated!

2.

Screen Shot 2015-03-06 at 5.41.33 PM

So logical! Most of all, you save the earth – no more toilet paper roll trash! I have also seen toilet paper roll tubes used to organize your dresser drawer (ladies). Roll your stockings or tights and then stick them in the tube, opening facing up, just like the box above. Then, when you are getting dressed you can easily see all your colors and it will keep them safe and snag free.

3.

Screen Shot 2015-03-06 at 5.51.00 PM

I did not think this would work. It totally worked! Of course, don’t turn the thing up full blast and leave the room, but for normal boiling (pasta, rice, potatoes) it works wonders! Wooden spoon salute!

4.

Screen Shot 2015-03-06 at 5.49.43 PM

So many hands, fingers, ponytails saved! (more…)

Fall Asleep FAST! April 20, 2015

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Beauty, Health and Fitness, How To, Medical, Tips and Tricks.
add a comment

Sleepless, stressed and most importantly sleepless. Did I mention sleepless? It’s the most agonizing thing almost anyone can go through. Just laying there, staring at the clock, thinking about how many hours you have left to potentially get some rest before you have to wake up? If you haven’t been there, you’re not human. Try this on for size! The 4-7-8 breathing trick! DLIH TESTED, DLIH APPROVED!

Screen Shot 2015-04-02 at 5.24.44 PM

It’s not the easiest thing in the world, do not be fooled. Also, it may not knock you out in a 30 second flat like the article seems to claim, but what it will do is relax your body and get you into sleeping mode. Due to the concentration on breathing and counting, it will eliminate the chance of your mind wandering to things that you are stressed or worried about. If it doesn’t help you fall asleep right away, it will get you to Mr. Sandman time much faster!

Boxed Into Your Job February 24, 2015

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Finances, Following Your Dreams, How To, Jobs and Work, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World.
add a comment

I DO NOT DO SALES. It’s like I need to tattoo it onto my forehead for people to hear me clearly. I’ve done sales once or twice in my life, I’ve been fairly good at it, so that’s all people hear, that’s all they see, that’s all I am to them.What am I really? I am a human being with ambition. I am a person who wants to be constantly challenged and if I’m giving the chance, I’ll prove that i can be trusted, and that I can exceed people’s expectations. What I am not is a one trick pony. What I am not is a person who can only be good at one thing.

glass_ceilingDo you ever feel like all your boss sees you as is what you are? For many of us, this is the case, whether it’s the profession we’ve chosen or the company we work for, we are only seen as the job we hold, we are only as good as our last day of work. There is this culture in American that if you work hard and long and always say yes, you’ll get a promotion and you’ll grow, however, for many jobs that’s just not true. If you’ve ever been labeled at your job, you understand. That new job opens up in a different department, and it’s something you know you’d just rock at, but when you apply your supervisors tell you that they’re really looking for someone with more specific experience, or that they are really happy with where you are now and a promotion in your division should open up soon. How are you supposed to respond to that? It’s both a compliment and in insult all at once. Better yet, the employers who do offer you a job, for something you did two years ago, because to them that is what you do. Despite how much you’ve grown as a person, despite your age, the place you are in your life, your expenses. Thanks for thinking I was good when we worked together 24 months ago, but now I’m even better, and I’m ready for something new! That internship was awesome when I was 22, I’m almost 25 now and I don’t want to be in the same office space as someone learning how to refill a stapler. (more…)

How to Be a Morning Person February 10, 2015

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in 21st Century/Technology, Apartment Life, Health and Fitness, How To, Life Lessons/Growing Up.
add a comment

“For many of us, mornings begin in a rushed panic. We allow our alarm clocks to buzz at least a dozen times before we decide we have to get out of bed. We then rush around our homes half-awake trying to get ready for our day. In a hurry, we stub our toe on the bedpost, forget to put on deodorant, and don’t pack a lunch because we simply do not have time.

It’s no wonder that so many folks despise the thought of being awake before 9 am!”

Forgetting deodorant? Check! Not packing lunch? Also check! Stubbing toe? Been there! Learn how to be a morning person, or at least a little bit happier in the AM! Read this awesome and uplifting article at MindBodyGreen!

Screen Shot 2015-01-31 at 7.56.32 PM

Follow Your Dreams…No Matter When July 9, 2014

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in 21st Century/Technology, Arts/Theater, Following Your Dreams, How To, Jobs and Work, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World.
add a comment

I remember when a guy I was sort-of dating first introduced me as “she used to be a dancer”. It’s a good thing he didn’t see my face, because I think it was a mix of shock and complete anger. Yes, this is no longer my career. Yes, I now have expanded my resume. Yes, it’s not what my business cards say. But I, in every way, shape and form am still a dancer! It’s a part of my being, my personality, who I am and how I think. Still, I had to face the reality, it was hard to call me that, when I wasn’t spending 10am-8pm in a dance studio anymore.

Remember when you were seven years old and asked what you wanted to be when you grew up? One week it was a veterinarian, the next it was a fireman, then a gymnast who would go out he Olympics and also a mommy or a daddy, or a horse farmer, or a purple rainbow catcher, or a pineapple trader. Well, your dreams in your twenties are just like that, but more along the lines of wanting to make good money, have a great apartment, like your job, have a comforting relationship, make awesome friends, have a stellar career, and so forth. The enchilada, the whole damn enchilada. Then, once you start getting all these things, something really unexpected happens, and you realize how unhappy you are. At twenty-three nothing seems grander than a fancy apartment with your significant other and a dog, but sometimes what we do to get those things means giving up something else. Sometimes, the things we give up are the most important.

turned-cants-into-cans-dreams-into-plansIf you’re lucky enough your career and passion are one in the same, but for many of us, that’s not that case and we have to make the time and effort to follow our dreams. I always thought that going back to dancing seemed futile later in life. After getting a degree, building a professional name for myself, creating a relationship and making money. It felt like it would only be a hobby and not a focus, but slowly, I began to feel dull, lifeless, like I was missing a huge part of myself. I felt like someone had grabbed my very arm off my body and run away with it. I realized that I had been working so hard at life, I had forgotten what was truly important, being happy. There are going to be a lot of years in your life you can’t be truly happy and truly successful, and sacrifice is important, but once you are on the right trajectory, and you are starting to achieve normalcy again, it’s important to feel like you again. If you were always a marathon runner, pick a 5K to train for; if you used to teach acting too little kids, volunteer at a day camp for a couple of weeks. Getting back into the swing can be hard, overwhelming, and time-consuming; it can actually be scary, when you aren’t sure of the outcome or even know if you’re still capable of doing whatever it is you do, but once you put on that dance shoe, or take that photograph, or cook that first desert, it’s like you feel like you’re home.

The career of a dancer starts at about seventeen, and by twenty-seven you’re already considered old. Had I known at seventeen what I know now, perhaps I would have made some different choices, but you can’t regret the mistakes or decisions you made because they lead you to where you are today. You would not be going back to what you love, had you never left it. For many, discovering what they love happens in their twenties, a simple art class or team building retreat can open up new worlds for people. Now is the time, before kids, before mortgages, before there’s another college to pay for, to get into a habit of following your dreams too. Be realistic, you’re never going to be an NBA player, but there are plenty of leagues and teams out there looking for a good shot!

“She turned her can’ts into cans, and her dreams in plans.” What I’ve learned, which I wish I had known at ten, and sixteen, and twenty, and twenty-two was that the most important thing in life is to have dreams. They may not bubble to the surface in the exact way you thought, but the more you learn about life, the more ways you find to make them work. The only person who can do that is you, so never let go of your dreams, and never let anyone take them away from you. In whatever form they may come, they are yours, and yours to concur.

Detaching From the Situation June 16, 2014

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Dating, Family, Friendships, Health and Fitness, How To, Jobs and Work, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World, Tips and Tricks.
add a comment

“You’re a horrible person.”

“You did the opposite of a good job.”

“What made you think this was a good idea?”

“You’re seriously under performing.”

Things we’ve all probably heard at one point or another. Whether it’s coming from a boss, or co-worker, a friend, a parent or a partner, it’s the worst thing to hear and it’s shocking. When you’re sitting at the opposite end of a table and someone looks you dead in the eye and starts telling you that you’re, basically, worthless, your first reaction is shock. In your mind you’re thinking “What is happening right now? Is this for real?”, then you’re next reaction is defense, followed by total loss. You want to spurt back “I did a great job! And you know it!” but what actually comes out it something more along the lines of “I..well, I, after looking over the report, I, we,…it appeared that it would be the best..more appropriate decision.”  Which usually only opens the conversation to more details about how much you suck. No one, human being is built to withstand a verbal hurricane, no matter how strong you are or how many times you’ve been through it, there is no way to prepare yourself for a sudden blow.

In a recent experience, someone I highly respect was delivering a message from someone else, once again, telling me I was failing at life and should probably just stop trying to impress anyone with any attempt at pathetically proving them wrong. Then she paused, looked into my eyes, and said “I think not caring comes with age.” I laughed. I laughed because the girl next to me was near tears, and I was considering putting my fist through a wall, and I laughed because it was true. Both still in our twenties, we took this reprimand to heart. When you’re an adult, there is no more first grade teacher around to tell you that even though you didn’t write all the letters correctly, you’ll try again tomorrow and it’ll be better! No, in the real world, sometimes you get one shot to not make the N backwards and if you fail, you fail. You failed. And someone is going to make it known to you. I laughed, because I realized how stupid it was to care so much about something that would, moving forward, be fairly insignificant in the grand scheme. I decide that, regardless of being young or old, I was going to learn how to not care.disneys-peter-pan

My mother told me that confident people don’t put others down. Confident people also rarely refer to themselves as confident. A person who is secure in their profession, their relationship, their situation in life, won’t spend the time to find small faults in others. So, when your significant other of six-months starts outlining how you’re just not emotional invested enough in the relationship, maybe stop to think if this is something that he or she is actually dealing with? Perhaps your boss insists that low sales are a result of you not trying hard enough; a good boss is going to give you constructive criticism, not blame you and waste everyone’s time. Maybe you’re not so close with your parent or sibling, and they’re always highlighting your imperfections; sounds like this is something they’re insecure about. The examples could go on and on, but the lesson is more valuable than the stories.

So I tried, the next time I got a snippy e-mail, or saw a rude Facebook post, or even just felt discouraged at my job. Before I could let myself really get down, I thought of something that makes me happy. Not something superficial like sitting on my yacht, or on a beach with a cocktail, or driving around in my BMW – none of which actually exist; but something real like what I would be doing with friends that weekend, or a nice dream I had, or an event that recently occurred that made me smile from ear to ear. After I got  this mental picture in my head, I just moved on with my day. Whenever I felt that tension or frustration rise up again, I pushed it away with happy thoughts [Peter Pan and Tink really had something there]. You can’t just push it away though, you have to release it, not hold it in. Don’t talk about it too much with others, don’t harbor on it, basically pretend it’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard in your life and forget about it!

I tried…and it was super hard! It was so hard to pretend it wasn’t bothering me, it was hard to think of something else, it was tough to just not keep bringing it up. I don’t even think I’m that great at it yet, but I tried, and I got over what was bothering me and most of all, I didn’t let insecure people get under my skin! Be the cream, rise to the top and just be above it all. People who want to be insecure and cause tension are welcome to relocate back to high school. Space is always open snd registration is free. Focus on being s better you and let losers find a way out of their own mess.

The Real Life Rules of Respect and Honesty June 7, 2014

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Dating, Family, Friendships, How To, Life Lessons/Growing Up, Real World, Relationships.
add a comment

Respect and honesty are funny things. As far as my experience goes, everyone wants to be respected, and really, most people think they deserve respect in one manner or another, but what are the rules on respect? In the same vein, “honesty is always the best policy” and “relationships are based on honesty”…right?

Maybe not.

In the spirit of full disclosure: I’m an asshole. Well, at least that’s what people who know me say. When asked to clarify, it usually comes down to my willing disregard of societal filters combined with an attempt at full honesty. For instance, if you got a bad haircut, I’ll be the one to let you know. It’s not that I revel in your misfortune, it’s just that I would want someone to tell me. It’s like the booger dilemma. If a friend comes up to you and has a cliff hanger fluttering carelessly in the wind, are you going to tell them? Be honest with yourself. The last time you saw a friend with a boogie in their nose did you tell them? Well I’m the guy who tells a stranger about their booger. No, I won’t just walk up to you to tell you, but if we’re for some reason in conversation I’m dropping that bomb. It’s not that I enjoy uncomfortable situations; I don’t like to make people feel embarrassed; I just know that I’d be pissed if I was walking around with Slimer chilling on my upper lip and no one told me. To me, it’s a sign of respect to set aside the feeling of “uncomfortable convo” to make sure you aren’t walking around like some kind of boogie-monster. This goes for food in teeth, toilet paper on shoes, etc. Anything that you’re not likely to notice yourself – I’m your guy.

honesty-197883Although it comes from a good place, honesty is often taken negatively. Even when that honesty has been requested by the second party, it can often rub the other person the wrong way. Even more drastically, telling the truth can just be a bad life choice. I know someone who was smoking pot with friends at a boarding high school. One of those “friends” bugged out and told the Dean. Everyone was brought in to be interrogated. One person told the truth. I imagine you can guess who was kicked out of school. If you haven’t been following along I’ll just tell you that honesty isn’t always the best policy. The one that told the truth, my friend, that’s who got kicked out! Jeez you’re dense! Anyway. There are just too many situations in life to be so broad as to say honesty is the best policy. Further, people who say they want complete honesty don’t really mean it. Sure, your girlfriend loves your honesty when you tell her that you cry to Bambi, but don’t tell her dad he’s a hypocrite for telling you that you drink too much as he’s downing his fifth scotch of the hour. Then you have no filter and are just uncouth. “Be honest with me, not everyone else… (unless we’re talking about sex, then just tell me I’m Aphrodite).” At some point, do we all just have to accept that people are hypocrites and liars, and only believe half of what they say?

It’s like respect. The whole notion of “respect your elders” is somewhat ludicrous. It should be “respect your others.” You’re telling me that I should respect your dad as he calls me a worthless piece of shit just because he’s older? Didn’t we learn as children to treat others how you’d like to be treated? If you’re dropping the f-bomb to me in conversation, isn’t that an opening for me to do the same? Why does your age allow you to use your entire lexicon while mine must be minded? If I’m too young to use those words, don’t use them around me. More importantly, though, after a certain point, we’re all adults. Don’t expect special treatment from me just because you’ve been an adult longer. In my book, everyone deserves a certain level of respect until they’ve shown otherwise. I can abide by rules of age-appropriate propriety in most situations, especially when concerning foul language (for more on this subject refer to my timeless words, “a rose is a rose by any other name” [Ok, maybe some lady named Shaka Spear wrote that… So sue me]), but if you talk like a sailor, don’t expect me to talk like Sailor Moon. I’m not that guy. And you shouldn’t be either. Respect is a two way street. This goes for parents also. If you treat your kids like shit, don’t expect much back. I imagine I’m losing some of you at this point so I’ll just wrap it up with this: Get over yourself.

*This has been a public service announcement brought to you by the “good” people at Pascal’s school for propriety. Now get out!

– Pascal

s

Cleanse: Mind, Body, Spirit – The Post May 7, 2014

Posted by doinglaundryinheels in Around Chicago, Cleanse Mind Body Spirit, Cooking, Cross Training for Life, Food/Dining, Health and Fitness, How To, Medical, Review.
add a comment

Cleanse: Mind, Body, Spirit

Yes, I’ve been doing a juice cleanse. Read my pre-cleanse and juicing experience here

So here I am, at the end of my juice cleanse! Hooray! And when I say I couldn’t wait to start eating solid food again, I really couldn’t wait. Still, I did what JuiceRX recommended and started slow, and I learned why the system works, very quickly.

I started the morning light with food that my body was used to, fruits. I also had a cup of plain Greek yogurt, as the company recommend it. I held off on all other dairy for another day. For lunch and dinner I stayed with fruits and veggies and started to reincorporate small portions of other things like carbs or condiments. The second day, I started eating cheese again and small portions of meat and fish. It wasn’t until the third day that I went back to my “normal” diet.

The first time I had meat, my stomach really felt like it was going to explode. It was as if the smallest portion made me so full! However, I took this as a good thing, I had definitely gotten used to over eating and now was a good time to kick that habit. The other thing I noticed was that I was much more conscious of my food combinations, I had some soup with my meat or a huge side of veggies with my fish. Prior to the cleanse, I found it really easy to just eat one thing and one thing only. The first time I had dressing, coffee, and tomatoes my body felt like it was a machine in a factory. Churning some kind of industrial waste. If it sounds like a weird, weird sentence, understandably so. What I mean is that my body definitely can tell what is natural and what is not. More so than being refreshed and rebooted from my cleanse, I felt that it made me so aware of what I was putting in my body.

pic20140506184755

Tuna with Kale, Salad, Sweet Potatoes with Avocado, Kale Chips – Look at all that green! Yum!

When I started eating again, I found it easy to make better decisions. These are the food choices I used to make, years before I fell of my healthy eating bandwagon. When traveling, I’ll opt for a fruit cup or veggie platter and granola bar instead of a Subway sandwich and chips. I also started reading the ingredients in things, working to eat clean and only buy happy meat and dairy products (pasteurized or free-range). I also switched to all organic produce, I now exclusively shop at Whole Foods and Trader Joes and watch how much fat and processed goods I am putting in my body, rather than how many calories. This lifestyle doesn’t just make me feel healthier, it makes me feel better as a person, like when you get into college, you feel like your taking a step in the right direction.

I don’t think I’m going to give up everything – baseball games are for beer and hotdogs, movies are for popcorn, weddings are for cake, and late nights are for chips and chocolate. It’s not really about cutting all these things out for me, it’s about making good choices 85% of the time so that 15% of bad choices don’t win the battle of the cholesterol. I might not feel this overwhelming feeling of being refreshed from my cleanse, but just because I don’t feel on top of the world doesn’t mean I don’t think what I did wasn’t beneficial and it hasn’t given me a good boost to be healthy again. It hasn’t just affect my eating, it’s made me more motivated and conscious about working out, walking instead of driving, taking the stairs, over all healthy habits that are easy to fall out of.

If you’re considering a juice cleanse, I highly recommend it. It’s going to benefit you in the long run, and you won’t regret it. Sometimes you need a kick in the pants to get where you want to be, this did it for me!